CAST
READER 1 (follows the rules)
READER 2 (mischievous)
READER 3 (silly)
HANSEL (brat)
GRETEL (brat)
STEPMOM (stressed)
FATHER (unthinking)
WITCH
FAIRY DOG MOTHER
FAIRY FROG MOTHER
Optional CREEPY CREATURES
(sing and move like scary animals with claws):
----Note: DWARVES = ELVES in the script. Dwarves can also play Creatures w/ quick costume change.----
ELF 1 – Bossy
ELF 2 - Smelly
ELF 3- Picky
ELF 4 - Clumsy
ELF 5 - Sleepy
ELF 6 - Whiny
ELF 7- Groovy
ELF 8- Doofy
ELF 9 - Jumpy
ELF 10- SNEEZY twin
ELF 11 - SNEEZY twin
--Author will help you change number of Elves.
PROPS:
Big pot ---spritz silver spray paint on a black storage tub, Big spoon, Spice containers
Potato, carrot, & celery stalk (refrigerate)
2 hankies for Sneezy
Dog’s & Frog’s wands are optional
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
To use the music, give credit in your printed playbill like this:
Music for “Huddle Closer” is “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy”, composed by Tchaikovsky, and performed by Kevin MacLeod -- www.incompetech.com -- (c) Creative Commons, attribution required.
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Hansel & Gretel and the Creepy Woods
11 Elves /21 Actors + Creatures VersionA FREE SCRIPT by Jeannette Jaquish, translated by Sema Tokay
(c) 2005, 2011, 2015, 2017 Jeannette Jaquish
Lots more scripts at www.theaterfunscripts.com
Email: funantics.scripts@yahoo.com
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
ONE ACT PLAY
SET: Forest background. Outside of Hansel and Gretel's house. It can be turned around to be the inside of the Witch's house.
-----
READER 1: Welcome!
READER 2: HOSGELDINIZ!
READER 3: We are happy to perform for you...
READER 1 2 3: HANSEL AND GRETEL VE URPERTICI ORMAN HIKAYESINE --
READER 1 2 3: Hansel and Gretel and the Creeeepy Woods.
READER 3: URPERTICI ORMAN! EEEK!
READER 1: by Jeannette Jaquish!
(Juh-Net Jay-Quish)
**
VE TURKCEYE SEMA TOKAY TARAFINDAN TERCUME EDILMISTIR.
READER 2: LUTFEN ARKANIZA YASLANIN! VE RAHATCA IZLEYIN!
READER 3: And enjoy the show!
READER 1: BIR ZAMANLAR,
READER 2: Once upon a time,
READER 1: UZUN BIR SURE ONCE,
READER 2: A very long time ago, there lived --
READER 1: A brother and sister who were absolute brats!
READER 1 2 3: Named Hansel and Gretel!
READER 3: BIRI KIZ BIRI ERKEK COK YARAMAZ IKI KARDES VARMIS!
HANSEL (running on): I’m Hansel.
GRETEL (running on): I’m Gretel!
H & G: We’re Hansel and Gretel!
[HANSEL & GRETEL start dancing around like idiots.]
READER 1: Yes, just as we said. They lived in a cottage in the woods with..
(ONCE BABA ICERI GIRER SONRA UVEY ANNE GELIR.)
HANSEL: I’m Hansel.
GRETEL: I’m Gretel!
H & G: We’re Hansel and Gretel!
READER 1 2 3: Enough!
READER 2: BUNLAR ORMANDA BIR KULUBEDE BABALARIYLA BIRLIKTE YASARLARMIS.
FATHER [looking at them]: My dear son and daughter, Hansel and Gretel.
[smiles and clutches his heart]
READER 3: VE BABALARI ONLARI COK SEVERMIS.
READER 1: AMA BUTUN BU GURULTUDEN YORULMUS OLAN UVEY ANNELERI DE ONLARLA BIRLIKTE YASIYORMUS.
STEPMOTHER: Those kids are driving me crazy. Being a stepmother is rough.
HANSEL (skipping around her): I’m Hansel.
GRETEL (skipping around her): I’m Gretel!
H & G: We’re Hansel and Gretel!
[H & G continue on and on....]
STEPMOTHER: They say it over and over and over. AKLIMI KAYBEDECEGIM!
READER 3: NE OLDUGUNU TAHMIN ETMISSINIZDIR.
STEPMOM : Husband! Your children are driving me bonkers. KOCACIM SENIN COCUKLARIN BENI DELI EDIYOR. Crazy! Insane! (Lots of translations of “CRAZY”):
Take them into the woods and leave them!
FATHER : ONLARI ORMANA GOTURUP TERK MI EDEYIM? AMA BITANEM, KARINLARI ACIKIR.
STEPMOM : No, Silly, they won’t get hungry. A nice witch will feed them gingerbread.
FATHER : AHHH TABI! ORMANDA HERZAMAN ONLARA ZENCEFILLI KURABIYE VEREN IYI KALPLI BIR CADI VARDIR DEGIL MI? Mmmmm... Yummy! OK! Come on kids!
HANSEL & GRETEL: OLEYYYY! NEREYE GIDIYORUZ?
FATHER: It’s a delicious surpriiiise.
HANSEL & GRETEL: OLEYYYY! LEZZETLI BIR SURPRIZ!
[ONDE BABALARI ARKADA HANSEL & GRETEL around the stage or audience.]
READER 1: So the stereotypically clueless father ...
READER 2: BU ADAM AMERICAN SHOWLARINDAKI SASKIN BABALARA BENZIYOR.
READER 3 [mocking voice]: TABI! BENIM COCUKLARIM KABA.ARABA ANAHTARLARIM NERDE? OOPS! KEDININ USTUNE OTURDUM.
READER 1: Took Hansel and Gretel far far away...
READER 2: BABALARI HANSEL VE GRETEL’I COK COK UZAGA GOTURUYORDU.
HANSEL: NEREYE GIDIYORUZ?
GRETEL: Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
READER 2: BABALARI ONLARI COK COK UZAK DIYARLARA DOGRU YOLA CIKARDI...
READER 3: KAYBOLMALARINI ISTER GIBI DAIRELER HALINDE DONDURUP DURDU.
GRETEL: Round and round in circles..
HANSEL: AYY BASIM DONUYOR ...
READER 1: And left them!
FATHER: HOSCAKALIN COCUKLAR!
HANSEL & GRETEL: Goodbye, Father!
READER 2: But Instead of leaving them in the woods--
GRETEL: Why did Father leave us in the weeds?
READER 3: EVET. BABALARI ONLARI YAPISKAN BIR TOPRAK YUZEYE BIRAKMAK ICIN 5 KILOMETRE YOL TEPMISTI.
READER: Hansel and Gretel stood around in the prickly stickly weeds waiting for their father.
GRETEL: Ow!
HANSEL: Ow!
GRETEL: Ow!
HANSEL: Ow!
READER 1: Finally, Gretel realized he was not coming back.
GRETEL: BABAMIZ GERI GELMEYECEK! EVIMIZIN YOLUNU NASIL BULACAGIZ ?
HANSEL: Look, our house is right over there. You can see it!
**READER 2: EVET. BABALARI ONLARI EVLERININ TAM KARSISINDAKI YAPISKAN BIR TOPRAK YUZEYE BIRAKMISTI.
READER 3: So they walked home and jumped on the couch and got stickers all over it.
(ZIPLAYARAK)
HANSEL: I’m Hansel! Hansel! Hansel!
GRETEL: I’m Gretel! Gretel! Gretel!
HANSEL & GRETEL: ISTE YINE EVDEYIZ KANEPEDE ZIPLIYORUZ . KANEPEDE KANEPEDE KANEPEDE ZIPLIYORUZ . COOKKK ZEVKLI...[continue on and on...]
READER 1: UVEY ANNELERI GURULTUYU DUYAR VE NELER OLDUGUNU GORMEK ICIN ODAYA GELIR.
STEPMOM: Oh, no! They are back.
[clutches her head]
READER 2: AMAN ALLAHIM GERI GELMISLER DIYE BASINI TUTARAK KOCASINI CAGIRIR. MIGRENI TUTMUSTUR.
STEPMOM: Husband!
FATHER: Yes, Dear? Do you have a headache?
READER 3: VE UVEY ANNE BU YARAMAZ GURULTUCU COCUKLARI NEREYE GOTURMESI GEREKTIGINI SOYLER KOCASINA.
STEPMOM : Take those noisy children over the hill and deep into the forest and leave them!
FATHER : COCUKLARI ORMANIN DERINLIKLERINE GOTURUP BIRAKAYIM MI? AMA ACIKIRLAR!
STEPMOM : Don’t worry. Seven little dwarves will feed them.
**FATHER : OH! TABIKI ORMAN CUCELERI KAYIP KUCUK COCUKLARI BESLEMEYI SEVERLER .Come on, kids!
HANSEL & GRETEL: Hooray!
(UVEY ANNE CIKAR)
FATHER leads H&G through the audience. ONLAR look at the audience people as if they are scary monsters and trees.
PERDE KAPANIR - change set.)
READER 1: BOYLECE BABALARI COCUKLARI TEPENIN OBUR TARAFINA GOTURUR ...
GRETEL: Whee! Over the hill!
READER 2: KARGACIK BURGACIK KORKUNC AGAÇLARIN ARASINDAN.
HANSEL: These twisted trees are scary, Gretel!
GRETEL: Be brave, Hansel. Father will protect us.
READER 3: BABAMIZ BIZI KORUR DEDI GRETEL SESSIZCE. ONLARI GIZLI DELIKLERDEN VE MAGARALARDAN IZLEYEN YARATIKLARIN
YANINDAN GECTILER .
(children look at audience people fearfully)
GRETEL: Hansel! Look at these hideous, smelly unsupervised creatures.
HANSEL: Their eyes are following us!
READER 1: SONUNDA ACIK BIR ALANA
GELDILER .BABALARI BASLARINI OKSAYARAK
VE BILGECE LAFLAR EDEREK ONLARA HOSCAKALIN DEDİ.
FATHER: HAPSIRIKA BENIM ICIN SELAM SOYLEYIN DEDI. Bye kids! (CIKAR)
GRETEL: Say “Hello” to Sneezy?
HANSEL: Hooray! We are going to meet Sneezy!
READER 2: COCUKLAR HAPSIRIKI GORECEKLERI ICIN COK MUTLU OLDULAR.BABALARI KAHVALTIDA ZENCEFILLI KURABIYE YIYECEGINI UMARAK EVIN YOLUNU TUTTU.
FATHER: Mmmm... gingerbread for breakfast. (CIKAR)
READER 3: HANSEL VE GRETEL HAVA KARARMAYA VE ORMAN SOGUMAYA BASLAYINCA BIRBIRLERINE SOKULARAK BEKLEMEYE BASLADILAR.
HANSEL (scared): I’m scared.
GRETEL (scared): I’m cold.
HANSEL & GRETEL: We’re scared and cold.
(ELFLER VEYA YARATIKLAR at rear of audience do sound FX:)
READER 1: CIRCIR BOCEKLERI CIVILDADILAR. (Elves chirp.)
HANSEL: Crickets!
READER 2: BAYKUSLAR OTTULER. (Elves hoot.)
GRETEL: Owls!
READER 3: AY IYICE YUKSELDI. (Elves sing “Aaaah!”.)
HANSEL: Look! The Moon!
GRETEL: So beautiful!
READER 1: KURTLAR ULUDULAR. (Elves howl.)
HANSEL AND GRETEL: Wolves! Eeek!
(To skip the song, have Hansel and Gretel cry themselves to sleep instead.)
Huddle Closer
Dance of the Scary Creatures
(MUSIC UP: Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy, by Tchaikovsky, performed by Kevin MacLeod -- 1min 47 sec.)
(MUSIC UP: “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy”)
[Assign Readers by their singing range.]
READER 2: HANSEL VE GRETEL ICINDE BULUNDUKLARI TEHLIKENIN FARKINA VARMAYA BASLAMISLARDI.
READER 3: Alone in the woods
HANSEL (shivering): I’m Hansel. . . .
GRETEL (shivering): I’m Gretel. . . .
(YARATIKLAR GELIRLER, in a scary, claws up, dance, slowly approaching and circling frightened Hansel & Gretel.)
(start singing as glockenspiel begins)
READER :
BIRBIRINIZE DAHA YAKLASIN COCUKLAR,
ORMANDA,
In the woods,
In the woods,
EVDEN COK UZAKTA;
(Oboe descends)
WITCH (entering):
KARANLIK OLUYOR,
ORMANDA,
in the woods,
in the woods,
TEK BASINASIN;
(Oboe descends)
READER :
APTAL COCUKLAR, UYANIN,
BILMIYORSUNUZ,
You don’t know,
You don’t know,
ORMANDA NE OLDUGUNU;
Build a fire, [READER : ATES!]
Climb higher, [READER : SAKLANIN!]
KURTULMAK ICIN YOL ARAYIN!
(0:40 to 0:47 strong violins, then violas TEK TEK YARATIKLAR flit across on the music.)
HANSEL - Do you hear the branches breaking?
(0:47 violin surge)
GRETEL – EVET DALLARIN KIRILDIGINI DUYUYORUM.
HANSEL: Something flew across the moonlight.
(0:51 violas)
GRETEL: AYIN ONUNDEN KANAT CIRPMA SESLERI GELIYOR.
(Bolder bigger Creature movements.)
(0:54 to 1:00 violin surge)
HANSEL - I hear breathing, I smell danger, I can’t stay awaaaake.
(1:00 - dreamy glockenspiel
- HANSEL & GRETEL twirl-slump to the ground asleep.
YARATIKLAR slowly circle, facing in, then out, claws up. Witch lurks near.)
WITCH & READER:
Huddle closer, Children,
in the Woods,
ORMANDA,
ORMANDA,
Very far from home.
(Oboe descends)
There are dark things, lurking,
in the Woods,
ORMANDA,
ORMANDA,
Eat you to the bone;
(Oboe descends)
READER & CREATURES-protective pose:
Silly children, sleeping,
We will stay,
We will watch,
We will fight,
What is in the woods.
(CADI sneaks toward Hansel & Gretel)
With our sharp teeth (snap teeth),
With our long claws (slash claws),
We will help you, ... Survive!
Rahhrr! (YARATIKLAR CADIYI TAKIP EDEREK CIKARLAR !)
READER 1: Yawwn! Oh, my! It’s morning!
READER 2: UYUMUS OLMALIYIZ!
READER 3: Looks like it was a quiet night.
GRETEL HANSEL ‘I SARSARAK UYANDIRDI.
GRETEL: Hansel, it’s morning.
HANSEL: I’m hungry. What’s for breakfast?
GRETEL: KAHVALTI MI? ORMANDAN NASIL KAHVALTI YAPARIZ?
HANSEL: I forgot! We are lost!
GRETEL: EVET! KAYBOLDUK ISTE.
HANSEL & GRETEL (crying): KAHVALTIDA NE VAR?
WITCH [ENTERING]: Heee heee! You are!
HANSEL & GRETEL: BIZ MI?
WITCH: Oops! I mean you are having breakfast with me.
HANSEL & GRETEL: HA SIZLE KAHVALTI YAPACAGIZ DEMEK! OLEEYYYY!
HANSEL: But who are you?
WITCH: BEN KIM MIYIM? BEN IYI VE YASLI BIR BAYANIM.
GRETEL (to Hansel): She is a nice old lady.
WITCH: SU AGACLARIN ARKASINDA BIR EVDE YASIYORUM.
HANSEL (to Gretel): She lives in a house behind those trees.
WITCH: BENIM MERAKLARIM ISE --
HANSEL: BEN HANSELIM!
GRETEL: BEN GRETELIM!
HANSEL & GRETEL: We're Hansel and Gretel!
WITCH - YETER! Enough! (Lots of translations of "Enough".)
Walk this way...
(CADI walks bent over in a funny manner; HANSEL & GRETEL walk like her in a funny way to her “house”.)
[YARATIKLAR can live in Witch’s house as pets and stay in the background watching, scratching, sleeping and reacting.]
READER 1: ASLINDA BU IYI VE YASLI KADIN COCUKLARI YEMEYI SEVEN KOTU BIR CADIDIR.
READER 2: This nice old lady had a cookbook titled “How to Serve Children” [pause] “For Dinner”!
READER 3: YASLI CADI COCUKLARI EVINE GOTURUR.GRETEL ETRAFA BAKAR.
GRETEL: I thought you would have a gingerbread house.
HANSEL: EVET! NANELI CAKILLAR NERDE ?
WITCH : Oh, the property taxes on that thing were killing me!
GRETEL: AMA SIZ EMLAK VERGINIZI CUKULATA PARALARLA ODEMIYOR MUSUNUZ?
READER 1: BUTUN BU SEKERLI KONUSMALAR HANSEL’I ACIKTIRMISTI.
HANSEL: What’s for breakfast?
WITCH : Something delicious,
HANSEL: NEFIS!
WITCH: But first you must wash up.
HANSEL: AH HAYIR! YIKANMAKTAN NEFRET EDERIM.
READER 1: CADI ONLARI BUYUK BIR KAZANDAKI SICAK SUYUN ICINE GIRMELERI ICIN CAGIRIR.
WITCH : Scrub a dub a dub, into the tub!
GRETEL [reaches in and holds up a carrot]: Why are there carrots?....
WITCH [innocently]: CARROTS????
HANSEL [reaches in and holds up a potato and celery]: and potatoes and celery floating in the bathtub?
WITCH : POTATOES AND CELERY????? Oh, hee hee hee hee. Those are bath toys!
HANSEL & GRETEL: OLEEYYY! BANYO OYUNCAKLARI!
[They hop in the pot and splash around, still standing.]
READER 2: BOYLECE HIC KEK USTUNDEKI PARLAK MUMLAR OLMAYAN HANSEL AND GRETEL...
READER 3: Absolutely! Hansel couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
READER 2: And if you gave Gretel a penny for her thoughts, you’d get change back!
READER 2 3: Ha Ha Ha!
READER 1 [interrupting]: HEY! BAKIN! SIZ IKINIZ COCUKLARA KABA BIR SEKILDE HAKARET EDERKEN, HANSEL VE GRETEL CADININ CORBA KAZANINA GIRDILER BILE!
READER 2 3: Oops! AH HAYIR! Sorry! [ONLAR put hands on their faces and peek thru fingers.]
HANSEL (rubbing Potato under arm like soap): La la la la. . .
GRETEL (using Carrot like a Q-tip in her ear): Ahhhhhh....
HANSEL [uses Celery stalk like a toothbrush]
WITCH: Sit down, my little fishies, or you'll never cook -- I mean get clean. Squeaky-deeky clean!
HANSEL & GRETEL (plopping down on their knees) OK! Kersplash!
[HANSEL lifts up a rubber ducky he finds in the pot, and sings:]
[Song: “Rubber Ducky” from Sesame Street]
HANSEL (singing): Rubber ducky, you're the one.
GRETEL [flaps her arms]: Quack! Quack!
HANSEL: You make bath time lots of fun!
GRETEL: Quack Quack!
HANSEL: Rubber ducky, I’m awfully fond of--
GRETEL: LASTIK ORDEKLERE BAYILIRIM --
HANSEL & GRETEL: Rubber ducky, I’m awfully fond of you! [finish song with a pose]
WITCH [grabs rubber duck and tosses it away]:
GUVEC KAZANINDA LASTIK ORDEK YOK !—AY PARDON YANI BANYO KAZANINDA !
HANSEL & GRETEL [jump up and “splash” down]: Whee! Splash!
[CADI gasps as if she has been splashed.]
READER 1: ACABA ERIYECEKMI BU CADI ?
WITCH: I’m melting! I’m melting. Ha Ha! Not!
READER 2: Unfortunately, this witch was not allergic to water.
READER 3: BU CADI OZ DUNYASINDAKI CADININ UCUNCU KUZENI.
READER 1 : KOTU CADI GUVEC KAZANINA TUZ VE BAHARAT EKLEMEYE BASLAR.
WITCH (hums): Marjoram, Turmeric, Garlic, [more spices:]
Lots of Pepper, a sprinkle of Salt.
GRETEL: What are you sprinkling on us?
READER 1: USTUMUZE NE SERPIYORSUN DER GRETEL CADIYA.
WITCH : Oh... um..bubble powder! Hee hee hee...
GRETEL: OLEEYYY! DAHA COK BALONCUK TOZU ISTIYORUZ! (Splash splash)
READER 2: O ANDA KAPI CALAR.
[ SOUND FX = KNOCK! KNOCK! ]
WITCH : Who’s there?
(Elves march in singing a marching chant.)
ELF 1: I don’t know but I’ve been told!
ELVES: Leprechauns got pots of gold.
ELF 1: But do not grab one by the leg.
ELVES: Their feet smell like rotten egg!
ELF 1: One, two and three, four!
ELVES: Guess who’s knocking at the door!
ELF 1: Five, six and seven, eight!
ELVES: Dwarves don’t like their supper late!
ELF 1: Nine, Ten, Eleven DUR! (ALL stop.)
ELVES: We are just about to drop.
ELF 1 : Sound off!
ELVES: One two!
ELF 1: Sound off
ELVES: Three Four
ELF 1: Sound off
ELVES: Five Six
ELF 1: Sound off
ELVES: Seven!
ELF 1: Sound off
ELVES: Eight Nine Ten Eleven!
(ELF in front stops suddenly, and other Elves crash. Elf 1 jumps up.)
ELF 1: DIKKAT! (Elves jump to attention.)
TANISTIGIMIZA MEMNUN OLDUM! I’m Bossy!
WITCH: OTORITER?
(Each Elf steps forward and back to speak.)
ELF 2: I’m Smelly. (Flaps arms. Elves hold noses)
WITCH: KOKMUS? Whooeee!
ELF 3: I’m Picky.
WITCH: MIZMIZ?
ELF 4: I’m Clumsy. (trips on own feet)
WITCH: SAKAR?
ELF 5: I’m Sleeee (falls asleep)....py.
WITCH: UYKUCU? ONUMDEN CEKIL !
ELF 6: I’m Whiiiiny.
WITCH: SIKAYETCI? -- HEY! BU BENIM ISIM!
ELF 7: I’m Groovy.
WITCH: HARIKA? HA! HIC SANMIYORUM.
ELF 8: I’m Doofy
WITCH: ACAIP? ANLADIM .
ELF 9: I’m Jumpy.
WITCH: SINIRLI?
ELF 8: Boo!
ELF 9: Eeeek!
ELF 8: And those two are ...
ELF 10: & 11: HAPSUUUUUU!
(Sneezes on other dwarves who fall.)
ELVES (fallen on the floor): The Sneezy Twins!!!
WITCH: BABANLA ANNENIN SANA VERDIGI ISIM BU MU???
HANSEL: GRETEL! BUNLARDAN IKI TANE VAR BURDA!
( ELFLER jump up.)
ELF 1: We just stopped by to wish a good day!
ELF 2: We live in a cottage down the way.
ELF 3: We were just passing by when we came under the spell,
ELF 4: Of a most wonderful lip-smacking smell.
ELF 5: An enchanting culinary bouquet! (snore)
ELF 6: We don't wish to pry.
ELF 7: We don't wish to spy.
ELF 8: But if you don't feed us we're likely to cry.
ELF 9: That wonderful smell has made our heads spin. So if you don’t mind --
ALL ELVES: May we come in?
ELF 10 & 11: And borrow a Kleenex??? Achoo!
WITCH : GELE BILIR MISINIZ??? ZATEN ICERDESINIZ KI ! BURASI WALLMART ‘A MI BENZIYOR???
MALESEF KAGIT MENDILIM YOK!
READER 3: HANSEL ZIPLADI VE BAGIRDI.
HANSEL: Hey! Sneezy Twins!
SNEEZYs: Aaaachoo! (Wipes nose with hanky and waves it.)
HANSEL: My dad says hi!
ELF 10 & 11: BABANA CEVAP OLARAK BIZIM SELAMIMIZI SOYLE!
READER 1: 11 CUCE BIRSEYLER ASIRMAYA CALISIYORLARDI!
(ELFLER search front row of audience.)
READER 2: They started scrounging around for something to eat.
READER 3: CUCELER PAMUK PRENSES YAKISIKLI PRENSLE EVLENIP EVDEN AYRILDIGINDAN BERI SICAK BIR YEMEK YEMEMISLERDI.
READER 1: In fact, since Snow White left, they had nothing to eat except Peter Piper Pickled Pepper Pizza.
READER 2: EVIN HER TARAFINI ARADILAR AMA TEK BULDUKLARI SEY --
READER 3: Hideous gargoyles!
ALL ELVES (looking in the face of an audience person): Eeeeek!
(ELFLER run back to stage, line up.)
READER 1: COK URKUTUCU!
VE YEMEK BULACAKLARI YERDE NE BULDULAR BILIYOR MUSUNUZ?
(pantomime finding these things: )
ELF 1: Spider legs in the cupboard!
OTHER ELVES: DOLAPTA ORUMCEK AYAKLARI MI?
ELF 2: Frog tongues in the refrigerator!
OTHER ELVES: BUZDOLABINDA KURBAGA DILLERI MI?
ELF 3: Monkey ears in the toaster!
OTHER ELVES: EKMEK KIZARTMA MAKINASINDA MAYMUN KULAKLARI MI?
ELF 4: Rabbit teeth in the candy dish!
OTHER ELVES: SEKER TABAGINDA TAVSAN DISLERI MI?
ELF 5: Hissing cockroaches in the cookie jar!
OTHER ELVES: BISKUVI KAVANOZUNDA TISLAYAN HAMAMBOCEKLERI MI?
ELF 6: Wiggly Worms in the spoon drawer.
OTHER ELVES: KASIK CEKMECESINDE KAYNASAN KURTCUKLAR MI?
ELF 7 (point): What is in that bag?
(10 & 11 hold bag)
ELF 8: (peeking in) AH! BU BERBAT BISEY!
ELVES: O DA NE?
ELF 8: (peeking in) It's too terrible to tell you!
ELVES: SOYLE BIZE!
ELF 9 (peeking in) : You'll be sorry! Tell them!
ELVES 10 & 11: SEKERSIZ SEKER MI!
ALL ELVES: Sugarless candy corn??? Blecch!
Disgusting!!!
ELF 10: INSANLAR BUNLARI NEDEN ALIRLAR KI?
ELF 11: There is nothing good to eat!
ELVES: OHHH! [rubs their hungry stomachs]
READER 1: AMA CUCELER LEZZETLI BISEYIN KOKUSUNU ALDIKLARINI BILIYORLARDI.
ELF 11: Do you smell that?
ELF 10 (sniff): Yum!
READER 2: LIDERLERI BISEY BULUNCAYA KADAR BURUNLARINI TAKIP ETTILER....
(DWARVES sniff around. Go to both sides of pot.)
ELF 1: Attention! I have discovered a big pot of soup!
ELVES: OLEYYYY! CORBA!
HANSEL & GRETEL: Soup? Where? I’m hungry!
ELF 2: Oh, no! Children Soup!
HANSEL & GRETEL: What?
ELF 3: CORBA SIZSINIZ!
HANSEL & GRETEL: Eeeeeek!
READER 3: CUCELER COCUKLARI KURTARMAYA CALISTILAR.
READER 1: Unfortunately, the Dwarves never finished their water rescue classes.
(ELVES pretend to pull on both arms of children, left, right, left, right. Some ELVES lose their grip and fall on their rear ends.
Practice so the ELVES are not pulling hard, but H & G are flopping left and right.
The WITCH continues to stir and sprinkle spice.)
ELF 4 (falls down): It’s not working!!
[The ELVES flop down exhausted.]
READER 2: CUCELER COCUKLARIN DISARI CIKMALARI ICIN BAGIRDILAR.
[ELVES jump up.]
ELF 5: Children! Get out of that soup pot!
ELF 6: The witch wants to cook and eat you!
WITCH (tasting spoon): SCHLURRRP! DAHA COK BIBER!
READER 3: ANCAK HANSEL VE GRETEL KAYNAR SUDA COK FAZLA KALMISLARDI.
GRETEL (wiping brow): I’m melting.....
HANSEL: Me tooooo....
(HANSEL & GRETEL faint, hanging over the front edge of the pot.)
READER 1: HANSEL VE GRETEL KAYNAR SUDA BAYILDILAR! VE SU GITTIKCE KAYNIYORDU!
CUCELER ONLARI DISARI CIKARTMAYA CALISTILAR!
ELF 7: We are running out of time!
ELF 1: Calling all Dwarves! 1, 2, 3, Lift!
(ELVES grab H&G and partially lift them.)
READER 2: AMA CADI KOLLARINI SALLAYARAK BAGIRDI !
WITCH : Stop that right now!
(ELVES drop H & G, and jump back.)
READER 3: ELFLERIN LIDERI COK CESURDU.
ELF 1 (points finger in her face): Let them go you mean ol’ witch!
WITCH : SIZ let them go or I’ll turn you all into dwarf hamsters.
HANSEL: Dwarf hamsters are so cute.......
WITCH : Bite-size dwarf hamsters. Yum.
ALL ELVES: BIR LOKMACIK CUCE HEMSTERLERMI?! Eeeek! (jump back)
READER 1: CUCELER KACISTILAR! CUNKU ONLAR CUCE HEMSTERLERE DONUSMEKTEN KORKMUSLARDI.
READER 2: ASLINDA CUCE HEMSTERLER COK SEKERDI.
READER 3: LIDERIN AKLINA BISEY GELDI GRETEL’E DEDIKI ...
ELF 1: Gretel! Call on your Fairy Godmother!
ALL ELVES: GRETEL! GRETEL! UYAN!
ELF 1: GRETEL! Fairy Godmother ‘I CAGIR!
ALL ELVES: GRETEL! GRETEL! UYAN!
GRETEL (groggy): Calling Fairy Dog Mother...
READER 1: GOZLERI KOR EDEN BIR ISIK ICINDEN ORTAYA CIKTI ISTE --
***[FX - Bright Flash of Light]
DOG (leaping onto stage): Woof!
ELF 8: Who are you?
DOG: Gretel’s Fairy Dog Mother! Woof!
ALL ELVES: Oh, no!
READER 2: Fairy God Mother. Fairy Dog Mother. HATA YAPMASI KOLAY.
ELF 1: No No! Gretel! Call on your Fairy VAFTIZ ANNENI CAGIR!
GRETEL: Calling Fairy Frog Mother....
READER 3: And in another blinding flash of light there appeared --
***[FX - Bright Flash of Light]
FROG (leaping onto stage): Kribbit!
ELF 9: SEN DE KIMSIN?
FROG: Gretel’s Fairy Frog Mother! Kribbit!
ALL ELVES: Oh, No No No!
ELF 1: Gretel! Call on your Fairy God Mother!
GRETEL: Snore!
READER 1: GRETEL’S HORLAMASI EVI SALLADI !
(ELVES stumble around.)
ELF 4 She’s asleep!
ELF 5: She can’t call anyone!
ELF 6: How about Hansel? Could HE call HIS Fairy God Mother?
ELF 7: He would probably call his Fairy Hamster Mother!
ALL ELVES (nodding): Yeah....
READER 2 (walking across stage gesturing): BU COK KOTU OLDU! HANSEL VE GRETEL NERDEYSE SOS OLUYORLARDI, VE FAIRY GOD MOTHER YERINE BIZIM FAIRY DOG MOTHER IMIZ VAR --
DOG: Woof!
READER 2: ... AND A Fairy Frog Mother!
FROG: Kribbit!
READER 2: GORULEN SU KI BU HIKAYENIN MUTLU SONLA BITECEGI YOK. CUCELER GOZYASLARINA BOGULDULAR.
ALL ELVES: Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
ELF 8: This is terrible, terrible, terrible!
(PERI KOPEK & KURBAGA walk downstage together.)
READER 3: The Fairy Dog and Fairy Frog Mothers looked at each other.
FROG : Well this is a pretty mess!
DOG: You said it, Wonder Warts. I guess it’s up to us.
FROG: Right you are, Magical Mutt. Do you know what to do?
DOG: Sure do. Let’s roll!
(KOPEK & KURBAGA roll on the floor.
If you do this right, you’ll get a huge laugh.)
READER 3: Fairy Dog Mother KOTU CADIYA BUYU YAPTI VE ONA PIRELER YOLLADI VE ALERJI OLMASINI SAGLADI.
DOG (waving paws): Fleezus-Sneezus! Woof!
WITCH : HA HA! KOPEK BUYUSU MU? (sarcastic) OH, AMAN COK KORKTUM. HA HA HA!
COK.. COK... COK... KASINIYOR! KASINIYOR! KASINIYOR!
So so so Itchy! Itchy! Itchy!
Aaachoo! Aaachoo!
(SNEEZY 10 & 11 hand a hanky to the Witch who blows a raspberry into it and tries to hand it back.)
SNEEZY 10 & 11: Yuck! (ELVES 10 & 11 jump back in disgust. Witch drops it on the floor.)
READER 1: Fairy Frog Mother KAZANIN USTUNDEN ATLAYARAK SU SIHIRLI SOZLERI SOYLEDI:
FROG: Hoppus Ploppus Stoppus! Kribbit!
READER 1: KURBAGA KAZANIN ICINE ATLADI VE BUYUK BIR DALGA ILE HANSEL VE GRETEL’I DISARI FIRLATTI.!
(KURBAGA jumps in – HANSEL & GRETEL jump out. ELFLER fall down in the imaginary tidal wave.)
READER 1: CUCELER SEVINC CIGLIKLARI ATTILAR!
ALL ELVES: Yay! 1, 2, 3 --
Go Fairy Frog! Kribbit Kribbit Kribbit!
Go Fairy Dog! Woof Woof Woof!
READER 1: KOTU CADI PIRELERI BOGMAK ICIN KENDINI NEHIRE ATTI .
WITCH: Oh, I’m so itchy itchy itchy... (EXIT)
(KOPEK and KURBAGA chase her, CIKARLAR.)
FROG: BEKLE BENI KOTU CADI! SIGIL SIHIRIMI DENEMEK ISTIYORUM !
DOG: Woof!
READER 2: HANSEL VE GRETEL SICAK CARPMASINI ALT EDEREK CORBALARINDAN CIKTILAR .KENDILERINI CUCELERE TANITTILAR.
HANSEL: Hi! I’m Hansel.
GRETEL: Hi! I’m Gretel!
HANSEL & GRETEL: We’re Hansel and Gretel!
ELF 1 : Hi! We’re the eleven dwarves.
ELF 2: You may have heard of us in the story of Snow White.
ELF 3: Once upon a time a long time ago...
HANSEL: I’m Hansel.
GRETEL: I’m Gretel!
HANSEL & GRETEL: We’re Hansel and Gretel!
HANSEL: I’m Hansel.
GRETEL: I’m Gretel!
ELF 1, 2 & 3 : Enough!
READER 3: CUCELER HANSEL VE GRETEL’E EVIN YOLUNU GOSTERDILER .
(Travel into audience or around stage.)
HANSEL: I’m Hansel.
GRETEL: I’m Gretel!
HANSEL & GRETEL: We’re Hansel and Gretel! (on and on and on)
(ELVES have hands over ears and moaning.)
READER 1: CUCELER HANSEL VE GRETEL’DEN YETERI KADAR KOLAY KURTULAMADILAR.
(Go to Home area. Each Elf pauses to speak.)
ELF 1: Here is your house! Good bye!
ELF 2: What an ordeal!
ELF 3: I thought they would never stop yakking!
ELF 4: They never did!
ELF 5: My ears are killing me!
ELF 6: My ears are bigger than yours, so mine hurt more!
ELF 7: My ears are so big they have their own weather!
ELF 8: Oh let's go home. We never did get anything to eat.
ELF 9: What else could go wrong?
SNEEZY 10&11: Aaachoo! (search pockets for hanky but can’t find it so blow raspberry on back of Elf 9’s shirt.)
ELF 9: Hey! What’s going on back there!
(ELVES EXIT or sit at front of audience.)
READER 2: BOYLECE CUCELER AC MIDELERIYLE VE CINLAYAN KULAKLARIYLA ORMANDAKI KLUBELERINE GERI DONDUKLERI ICIN MUTLUYDULAR.
READER 3: HANSEL ONLARIN GITMELERINI UZULEREK IZLEDI.
HANSEL: Bye, Sneezy Twins! You are my favorites!
READER 3: BABALARI DISARI CIKTIGINDA ONLARI GORDUGU ICIN COK MUTLU OLMUSTU.
(ALL hug.) VE ONLARI ORMANDA BIRAKTIGI ICIN COK UZULMUSTU. ESINE SESLENDI --
FATHER: Honey, the kids are home!
STEPMOM (ICERI GIRER) : Oh, no!
HANSEL: Remember us? I’m Hansel!
GRETEL: I’m Gretel!
HANSEL & GRETEL: We’re Hansel and Gretel!
HANSEL: I’m Hansel!
GRETEL: I’m Gretel!
HANSEL & GRETEL: We’re Hansel--
FATHER : Enough! Stop saying the same thing over and over. You are driving us crazy!
(to audience) ONLAR GERI GELINCEYE KADAR NE KADAR KOTU OLDUKLARINI IDRAK ETMEMISTIM.
GRETEL: Ok, Daddy! Would you like to talk about biology, instead?
FATHER: BIYOLOJI MI?
HANSEL: Or architecture?
FATHER: MIMARLIK?
STEPMOM : Oh, I love biology and architecture! Let’s go down to the pond and catch frogs and build sandcastles!
(STEPMOM, HANSEL & GRETEL, cross stage, pantomime.)
READER 1: BU KONUSAN AGIZLARIN ARKASINDA CIDDI DUSUNCELER OLDUGUNU KIM TAHMIN EDERDIKI?
GRETEL: I’m making a princess castle.
STEPMOM: The archway is very graceful.
GRETEL: KEMERLI YOLLAR ILK OLARAK ESKI MEZOPOTAMYA’DA ORTAYA CIKMISTIR.
STEPMOM: OH? ONLARI ROMALILAR KESFETMEDIMI?
GRETEL: HAYIR. AMA ONLARI ROMALILAR GELISTIRDILER.
HANSEL: Wet sand will not have the tensile strength of brick or stone.
GRETEL: Good idea! I’ll try bricks next.
STEPMOM: You two children work well together.
HANSEL & GRETEL: SENDEN DAHA IYI,BU COK EGLENCELI.
STEPMOM: Yes, lots of fun!
READER 2: And then a magical thing happened. When the yammering stopped, their stepmother magically turned into a loving caring person. It was magic!
READER 3: HEY, SAYIN BABA! ESINIZDEKI SIHIRLI DEGISIME BAKINIZ!
FATHER: HAYIR BUNUN SIHIR OLDUGUNU HIC SANMIYORUM. [He thinks for a moment]
SONUNDA BIR BABA GIBI DAVRANDIM! ISTE BU SIHIRDEN DAHA GUCLU BIRSEY!
READER 1: That’s right!
It wasn’t magic. It was parenting!!!
And All of them:
[Actors run onstage.]
Children and Parents,
READER 2: Dwarves and Witches,
READER 3: Creatures, Frogs and Dogs, lived...
ALL: Happily ever after! HAPPY FOREVER AFTER!
HANSEL: I’m Hansel!
GRETEL: I’m Gretel!
HANSEL & GRETEL: We’re Hansel and Gretel!
ALL: Enough!!!! YETER! The End! THE END!
MUSIC:
BOWS!
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TECHNICAL NOTES
Hansel and Gretel say “I’m Hansel. I’m Gretel.... on and on until someone says “Enough!”
If actors forget lines, Reader can prompt them like this: “Hansel said, “Remember us?..”
The Reader prompts them as if it was written in the story – just the beginning of the line is usually enough -- and as soon as the actor catches on and says their line, the Reader is quiet.
When Father takes Hansel and Gretel into the Woods, he can take them out into the audience.
Big Pot need not be a pot. A good “pot” is a large black plastic storage tub that you spritz silver spray paint upon.
Use a GERCEK PATATES, HAVUC and PIRASA!
It is COK KOMIK when the kids use them as soap, Q-tips and toothbrush.
Be sure to use them or a substitute prop in rehearsal, so the kids don’t pantomime in the performance.
The potato will serve day after day, but carrots and celery must be refrigerated or they will wilt.