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- Musicals have a music CD, all licensing taken care of.
- Tech Notes and set drawings are included on the complex productions.
- Scripts are emailed; you print.
- Posters or poster art is included with many scripts.
- Casting/Scene charts included with large cast scripts.
To see a PERUSAL SCRIPT, please contact Jeannette Jaquish
at (260) 484-5946, between 7am and 10pm, Eastern Standard Time, USA,
or at http://theaterfunscripts.com/RequestPerusal.html .
The Damsel Game <--Click for Excerpts!
by Jeannette Jaquish
An EASY short fairy tale script parody of "The Dating Game" from the 1970's.
<--Image by Mauricio Eiji Yamashita
COST: 1st performance: $20; -- additional performances: $3 each; or 1 year: $32.
LENGTH: 15 to 22 minutes. A short version is available.
CAST: 5 to 8: 1 or 2 Show Hosts, Prince Charming, Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel plus optional: Sleeping Beauty and TV Director.
TECH: chairs or stools, "Damsel Game" sign-included w/script, partition, ordinary objects for props, princess dresses, long wig. Larger cast: headphones, clipboard, bucket.
Click to ORDER A SCRIPT!
NEW MUSICAL!
~ Slipperzzzz! ~
Cobb
and the Twelve Dancing Princesses
by Jeannette Jaquish
"Then send them to the blacksmith for iron shoes, because I QUIT! "
~ Girls and boys love this action-packed fighting-dancing musical comedy romance (with no kissing)! -- Great for a Theater Dance School!
<--Click for Excerpts!<--image by Morena Forza at www.morenaforza.com
<-- Poster with your theater name inserted, plus date, time, price, location etc.
COST: 1st performance: $30; -- additional performances: $15 each; or 1 year: $90.
MUSIC CD: $20
POSTER: $20 with your information added.
TECH: Simple furniture, lighting, props, and sets. Tech notes & stage drawings.
LENGTH: About 70 minutes.
CAST: 24 to 43 actor-dancer-singers, with lots of fun Townfolk, Bandit, Servant, Underworld Prince and Villain characters.
See Excerpts! ~ * ~ ORDER a script! ~*~ "Video Clips"
OPTIONAL SONGS
Harry Potter and the Obnoxious Voice - The ssssPOOF! --- "Dobby will pour red ants in his ears for punishment!"
a parody of J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter books and movies
parodied and adapted for stage by J.R. Jaquish<--Click for EXCERPTS, PHOTOS and TECH!
COST: 1st performance: $30; addtl: $15 each; or 1 year: $90.
MUSIC CD: $23
CAST: 9 to 26+ actors
TECH: Medium-simple. Mostly ordinary objects. Tech notes.
LENGTH: 32 min./ 45 min./ 65 min. / 75 min.
Watch Video Clips! ~*~ Order Me!
"I printed out the script and I couldn’t stop laughing. I am going to have too much fun doing this show! You have been much more helpful than any other play company I have ever worked with. By the way- working in the Puppet Pals reference was brilliant and I can already see the Time Clock Life number in my head. Thanks again!"
-- Laura Comito, Artworks Studio, 507 N. Main St., Carroll, Iowa www.carrollarts.org
NEW MUSICAL!
Pinocchio!
<--Click for Excerpts!
adapted by Jeannette Jaquish from the classic by Carlo Collodi.
A naive wooden boy is tricked, trapped, turned into a donkey and swallowed by a sea monster because he would not listen to his father, Blue Fairies and Cricket Conscience. Happy ending.
COST: 1st performance: $40; -- addtl.: $20 each; or 1 year: $80.
LENGTH: Three versions: 45 min., 60 min., and 120 min.
CAST: 32, more or less with role sharing or multiple role playing.
TECH: Simple-Medium-Complex depending on what you decide.
CLICK to ORDER a SCRIPT!
TROMBONI: Oh Pinocchio, you made me so much money today!
You are the Goose that laid the Golden Egg! You are my Cash Cow! You are my Gravy Train. You are making me rich, rich, rich!
PINOCCHIO: You are making me hungry hungry hungry. I’m going to go home now and eat dinner.
TROMBONI: Go home! Why of course, but first, I have a surprise for you. . . .
TWO VERSIONS OF THE "FROG PRINCE":
MUSICAL VERSION #1:
Wartsalot! -- The Frog Prince and the Princess Brat
"Taste fangs of death, Scoundrel Frog!" -- Cupcake, the Princess's pet
<--Click for excerpts! A fractured fairy tale children's theater script!
adapted for stage by Jeannette Jaquish
VERSION #1: The Frog Prince and the Princess Brat
CAST: 6 to 14 depending on short, medium or long version. LENGTH: 20, 50 or 75 minutes. 4, 5 or 7 scenes. Medium tech complexity.
COST: 1st performance: $25; additional: $10 each; or 1 year: $65.
Music CD: $23
Video clip! Click for Excerpts! Order a Script!
EXCERPTS:
PRINCESS CONCEITA: A prince?? Not likely, talking like that. If you were ever a human you held out a beggar's hat."
FROG: "I teased a frail old woman, begging on the road. I kicked her cane to make her fall and Poof!--I was a toad."
o o o ~*~ o o o
VERSION #2: SIMPLIFIED with MORE ACTORS in a Musical and NON-Musical version
The Frog Prince and the Princess Brats, JR <-- Click for Excerpts!an easy children's fairy tale play by Jeannette Jaquish
The basic story with lots of funny lines for all characters. Narrators can prompt actors when they forget a line. And it RHYMES!!!
COST: $10 first performance, $5 additional, or $30/year.
---- $30 for Music CD for the Musical Version.
THREE LENGTHS: 20 to 25 minutes - - - THREE CAST SIZES: 14 to 22 actors, age 7 and up.
3 Princesses (so less crying after auditions), 3 or 4 Frog-puppets, a Queen, optional King, 1, 2 or 3 Narrators, 3, 4 or 5 Townsfolk, 3 or 4 Servants, and a Boy Prince.
"Your play was a hit, and ended the year on a very high note! All of the parents, students, and other teachers that saw it bragged on how good it was. Thanks so much!" - - - Donna Huff, Pittman Center Elementary, Gatlinburg, Tennessee
~ * ~ Click to ORDER A SCRIPT!
Alice in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll "She doesn't chop off anyone's head! It's the rest of you who do it for her!" -- Alice's rallying cry to the Queen's subjects
<-- Click on tea party for excerpts!
Classic story theater script adapted for stage by Jeannette Jaquish
ACTORS: 23 to 40 all ages.
LENGTH: 2 hours but never boring.
TECH: Medium complexity. Simple sets. Falling down the Rabbit Hole & Hallway of Doors and Pool of Tears involve some manipulation.
COST: 1st performance: $30; Additional: $15 each; $90 for a year of unlimited performances.
MUSIC CD: $23
Click for EXCERPTS! ~*~ ORDER Me! ~*~ LICENSE THIS POSTER ART for $20 --->
"I recently ordered Alice in Wonderland from you and I would like to say it's fantastic and going great. As this was the first thing I have ever directed, I was surprised by how easy the script made it for me. I'm glad to hear that I can film it."
--- Abi Harris, performance March 2011, Trinity Theatre, Cowes, Isle of Wight, England ~ * ~ Click to read the glowing theater review in the Isle of Wight County Press!
3 FREE SCENE BOOKS! <-- Click to see List of Scenes for All Three Books!
~ Age 6 to 8 .~*~. Age 8 to 13 .~*~. Age 13 and older ~
Kids love to read scenes and put on little performances.
Great for teachers, camp leaders and home schoolers!
No charge for the download, copying, distributing or performing!
<--Click on image to get the PDF files FREE.
Or ORDER for Christmas or Birthday!A Talking Frogs CD Collection makes a GREAT Gift!!
For teachers, activity leaders, scoutmasters, homeschoolers and parents.
ORDER All 3 "Talking Frogs" Scene Books
Dr. Frankenstreudel's Lemon Fresh Laboratory of Horrors
"Sometimes I feel like saying, 'Fetch your own clotting factor!'" -- Misty, the sickly lab rat
<--Click for excerpts! -
ORDER Me!
an absurd thriller science themed stageplay by Jeannette Jaquish
SUMMARY: Four squabbling urchins escape a mad doctor, a Julia Child / Frankenstein monster, a sickly lab rat and ravenous zombies. Educational, witty and absurd with lots of action. COST: 1st performance: $20; Additional: $10 each; or 1 year : $60.
CAST: 2 boys, 2 girls, 4 or 7 adults or big kids
LENGTH: 55 minutes. 5 scenes.
TECH: Medium complexity. At least a 3 1/2 foot high platform for graveyard scene.
QUOTES: "Those little wretches ruined my best spoons prying the bars of their cages!" -- Eyegore
"They may be mindless, flesh-eating zombies, but they are still your elders." -- Old Man Wellard
--Charlie Brown shows
--Alice in Wonderland costumes
--Wizard of Oz: Dorothy, Lion, Flying Monkey shirts
--Harry Potter: House Elf noses on glasses + ears
--All kinds of costumes for the shows you see here.
--If you have a costume need - Ask!
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"Witches, Goblins, Ghosts and Ghoulies"
Song and sheet music. Free!
Pippsi Longknickers SIR HORACE: "You were rather impressive yourself, autographing each cookie with your thumbprint."
PROF. BANANA: (holding up thumbs) "If you’ve got ‘em, flaunt ‘em."
<--Click on Pippsi for excerpts and free Tea Party scene! - Order Me!
inspired by Pippi Longstockings by Astrid Lindgren
theater script adapted for stage by Jeannette Jaquish
--Freckled bombshell bullies bullies, gooses high society and does her part for intergalactic harmony.
COST: $10 per performance; or 1 year : $40. FREE: Tea Party Scene
CAST: 16 to 25, including 5 smaller and 5 larger
LENGTH: 75 minutes or less (scenes may be cut).
TECH:Medium-simple. No special FX, but lots of set changes.
QUOTES: "Spelling bee award? How nice! Now you can hold your head up high around the prettier girls." -- Mrs. Belittleton
"Once Grandma's servant stole her grand piano but she had no place to hide it so she dragged a carpet over it and told Grandma that the house's foundation was settling unevenly!" -- Pippsi
Who Framed Lucky the Leprechaun?<--Click for excerpts!
an absurd mystery script by Jeannette Jaquish
A Great St. Patrick's Day Theater Script!
An funny, action-packed, edgy script perfect for experimental theater and mixed age casts.
COST: $10 per performance; or 1 year: $40. Order Me!
CAST 9 to 28 actors. Need 3 to 7 kids and 6 to 21 teens or adults, actors can play multiple parts.
LENGTH: about 55 minutes.
TECH: Easy-medium. Fast but simple set changes. Carry on props: camcorder, bucket, Lucky. Basic lighting.
COSTUMES & PROPS: 1 big and 3 small leprechaun costumes. A cop and detective. Toy machine guns. Lucky Charm and Trix cereal boxes. A working vacuum cleaner. Two Camcorders, working or not.
EXCERPTS
LUCKY: Ralph! Ralph, me boy! Show some charity to the wee ones. Hello me little lads and lassie. You're a fine lookin' bunch. And sure you'll be wantin' an autograph to show your friends back home?
KID 2 - Look, Look who it is!
KID 3 - It's Lucky. It's Lucky! He's old! He's old, and big! (EXIT screaming)
DIRECTOR - I'm sorry you found out like this Lucky. The Big Guy, he thinks you're getting a bit old for this role, I mean how old are you? 300?
LUCKY - I'm just 298!
DIRECTOR - And it appears you've had a growth spurt lately. We just can't get actors any bigger to play the children without borrowing from the NBA or Ripley's Believe it or Not.
Snow White and the Eco-Disaster Dwarves
a funny fairytale with an environmental message, by Jeannette Jaquish
Click on Apple for Free Script!-->
CAST: 4, Snow White and Three Odd Dwarves
LENGTH: About 5 minutes.
PRICE: FREE if you tell the playwright.
A catchy easy to learn short play about abusing the forest. For all ages to watch. Actors age 7 on up.
DIGGER - I'm Digger.
DUMPER - I'm Dumper.
CHOPPER - I'm Chopper Downer.
SNOW WHITE - Those are funny names. I thought you'd be named Bashful or Happy or Sneezy.
DIGGER - Oh, they moved out long ago.
DUMPER - Yeah, when the forest was still green.
CHOPPER - They left some nice furniture.
Little Red Riding Hood and the Bad Idea Shortcut
folktale adapted by Jeannette Jaquish
<--Image by Gustave Dore' (1832 - 1883)
<--Click on Wolf and Red for EXCERPTS & DETAILS!
CAST: 6
LENGTH: About 20 minutes.
PRICE: $10 first performance, $3 additional, $32 for 1 year.
TECH: MEDIUM-EASY - Need a bed stage prop. One Set.
COSTUMES: LINK to COSTUMES
Not only does the Wolf get a surprise from Little Red, so does the Narrator and the Woodsman! Many absurd moments bring new life to an old favorite.
Lines are easy, catchy and funny. The Narrator's lines remind the actors of their lines, and Narrator ad libbing can rescue when a line is forgotten.
3 Delightful Children's Scripts by Scott Rousseau
A Duck's Tale
by Scott Rousseau
<--Click on the Duck for Excerpts
"But Mom! I wanted the new medieval Barbie!" -- Snow White
Arcadia, the Ugly Duckling, bungles through many other fairy tales meeting Witches, Snow White, The Cheshire Cat, and even the police, causing mayhem and hilarity. Lots of fun character parts.
COST: $20 first performance, $10 each additional. $60 for one year.
CAST: 7 or more actors: 3 male, 3 female, age 12 thru adult. Experienced to do multiple roles with simple quick costume changes
TECH: Simple Set and props, Lighting changes, No music
LENGTH: About 45 minutes.
A Campfire Tale
a puppet folktale by Scott Rousseau
CAST: 2 to 5: 1 to 4 puppeteers & 1 actor/backstage tech
LENGTH: About 12 minutes.
PRICE: $5 for 1 year.
TECH: EASY - A simple single set. Last actor is backstage tech.
Cinderellie-Mae
a hillbilly comedy by Scott Rousseau
CAST: 12
LENGTH: About 22 minutes.
PRICE: $10 for 1st show, $5 each additional, $35 for one year.
TECH: Flexible
Fairy Tales on the Mars Frontier <--Click to get script!Real science theater script by Jeannette Jaquish
Fairy tales evolve as pioneer parents on Mars teach values and survival to their kids.
Uses real scientific data about how humans will terraform and colonize Mars!
Actors: 11 to 35 Actors can play multiple parts.
Length: 35 minutes. 3 small scenes within one long scene. Medium tech complexity.
Cost: FREE if you notify author, and give her proper announcement. Easy Rules for Using Free and Not-Free Scripts.
QUOTES:
"Is your dome strong? Mine blew in!" / "My dome sits low below the crater. Aluminum cover like a baked potater." -- Pigs 1 & 2
"Can you stop this purple plague?" / "Stand back and be amazed!" / "I don't know about this piper." / "She is weird." "And very hyper." -- Townspeople and The Pied Piper
"This is the dome, resistant to shock; Built by the man who crushed the rock, that lay on the surface of Red Mars." -- Rock Song
The Spoiled Baloney Man <--Click to get script!
That cycle of life and death really stinks.
a fractured fairy tale by Jeannette Jaquish
based on The Stinky Cheese Man - but better!
ACTORS: 8 or 12
-------- 8 = 3 puppets or actors + 5 actors
--------12 = 3 puppets or actors + 9 actors
LENGTH: 25 minutes. 1 scene. Simple-medium tech complexity
COST: FREE if you notify author, and give her proper announcement. Easy Rules for Free Scripts.
Quotes: "Not a pretty picture, or smell, when BALONEY GOES BAD! Raised by bacteria in a cold microwave oven. Would love, color and stimulation in its childhood have made a difference?" -- Frog
Kiss the Brown Bunny<--Click for free script!an actors & puppets script by Jeannette Jaquish
The flirty Cockroach bets grumpy Spike the dog that three people will kiss her in three minutes.
<-- shown here: Folkmanis cockroach puppet.
ACTORS: 2 puppets, 3 actors, You may RENT THE PUPPETS from the author.
LENGTH: 8 minutes. 1 scene.
FREE if you notify author, and give her proper announcement. Easy Rules for Free Scripts.
QUOTES:
"Cockroach: Even cockroaches have feelings and mine are hurting... Snuggle???
Spike the Dog: Get away from me you filthy insect! Go snuggle in a garbage disposal!"
SPANISH & ENGLISH BI-LINGUAL TRANSLATIONS
Restaurante Del Diablo" <--Click here!
a Spanish & English script by Jeannette Jaquish
Cost: FREE
Scripts alternate Spanish with English so a person speaking either language can understand, and also learn the other language.
Quotes:
FATHER: Waiter! You have your thumb in my soup!!!
WAITER: (wiping thumb on napkin) Me fama? Gracias, Senor, pero las sopa no es caliente. (Exits)
FATHER: Thank you but it's not hot! I don't believe it! His dirty thumb was in my soup!
SON: Esta limpia, ahora.
FATHER: Ewwww! You eat. I'm not hungry now.
SON: (spits out first taste) Bleccchh!!
FATHER: Que pasa?
SON: There is a fly in this soup!
FATHER: Una mosca en tu sopa!!! Terrible!!
WAITER (Returns, placing bill on the table): La cuenta.
SON: MESERO! ESTA UNA MOSCA EN MI SOPA!
WAITER: Fly in your soup??? Is that a problem? Are you a vegetarian?!
Hansel & Gretel and the Creepy Woods <--Click here!by Jeannette Jaquish
also in FRENCH & NORWEGIAN translations
FREE - print it off from this website!
Get permission to perform just by notifying the author by email.
MORAL: Don't let your kids drive you CraaAAAzy!
CAST: Three versions: 15, 20 or 25 actors. The 15 actor version is on the website. Email to request any of the scripts to be emailed FREE.
Hansel & Gretel in the Big Woods -- In Norwegian! Click here!
Hansel & Gretel in the Big Woods -- In French! Click here!
-- Scenes from Carroll Community Theatre in Carroll, Iowa:
-- Scene from India
"Almost all of these children were neither fluent nor comfortable with English, but still they did the entire play in English and that too with an amazing confidence." --Keshav Khanna"Your Hansel and Gretel and the Creepy Woods script is very funny, and well written - I had a difficult time finding appropriate material for our students, who are 4th and 5th graders. The lines are short and easy to memorize, and yet very entertaining. Thank you for sharing your talent! " ------Cathy Duyck, Battle Creek, Michigan, St. Joseph Elementary Drama Club coordinator, performing March 28 & 30, 2011
"I have been searching for a good play for my drama kids to perform this year and I really like the look of your Hansel and Gretel. It is quite a challenge to write scripts that appeal to both adults and children, keeping all ages entertained and humoured is what makes a good script. I really like the way you have achieved to do just that." ------Roz Glen, Hillcrest, South Africa (near Durban)
Hansel and Gretel and the Creepy Woods - Youtube Videos
-- LITTLE ORPHANT ANNIE <--Click for scriptby James Whitcomb Riley
adapted for stage by Jeannette Jaquish
FREE - print it off from this website! Easy Rules for Free Scripts.
Get permission to perform just by notifying the author by email.
MORAL: Get kids to behave by scaring the geewhilikers out of them.
CAST: 7 children, 3 or 5 older actors.
--This is the folk poem about boogeymen, NOT Annie singing "Tomorrow! Tomorrow!" with Daddy Warbucks!
<--Image from http://www.cs4fn.org/vision/usingthedarkside.php
CHILD 1: And little Orphan Annie says, when the blaze is blue, And the lamp wick sputters, and the wind goes woo-oo!
CHILD 2: And you hear the crickets quit, and the moon is gray, And the lightning bugs in dew are all squenched away –
CHILD 3: You better mind your parents, and your teachers fond and dear, And cherish those who love you, and dry the orphan’s tear,
CHILD 4: And help the poor and needy ones who cluster all about, Or the Gobble-ins will get you
CHILDREN: If You Don’t Watch Out!
THE WAY I REMEMBER IT <--Click for script,a fun kids play by Jeannette Jaquish
FREE - print it off from this website! Easy Rules for Free Scripts.
Get permission to perform just by notifying the author by email.
MORAL: Being mean makes more meanness.
CAST: 6 or more boys and 6 or more girls, 2 more kids, an older man and woman, and maybe a mom, an optional chorus of kids, plus 1 or 2 prop assistants.
SUMMARY: Little Jamie gets Grandma and Grandpa to tell the story of how they met as children, with two very different and funny perspectives.
Short Skits & Easy Plays for Kids <--Click for skits!
comedy skits & scripts by Jeannette Jaquish
with links to those by other authors.
Cost: FREE.
Skits for 2 or more actors. 30 seconds to 10 minutes. From Easy to Medium difficulty
The Way I Remember it
Nutty Nursery Rhymes
Flight of the Vultures
Hansel & Gretel -- Kindergarten Level - Very Fun!
Dino Puppet Jokes
Cereal Killer
Before Eve met Adam
Restaurant skit
Muppet Veterinarian's Hospital
Knock-Knock Jokes - Scout Skits - Joke Skits
Funny Songs to Perform <--Click here!by Jeannette Jaquish
with links to songs by other authors.
Some Titles:
Your Mama Don't Wear No Socks
The Hilarious Intermission Song:
"Sodas full of caffeine; Your heart pounds like a freight train,
Let's go to the lobby and have little snack..."
Gilbert and Sullivan Spoof Songs
Songs from Frog Prince and the Princess Brat
Christmas Song Parodies
Incompetech.com Royalty Free music - Good Quality and lots of styles.
If you find a free script you can use, please Donate $1 to Jeannette Jaquish / FunAntics at this link: